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Sow the Land

February 18, 2023



One of the vloggers that I liked to regularly follow... did something... that I thought was pretty awful. This guy makes videos of himself going through abandoned storage units... you know, when the person can't keep up the rent then those contents are sold at auction. Often the people have died... some are in prison... and some people are losing all they own from societal circumstances.

Well... he bought what turned out to be a woman's unit and went through her personal things... and left it in the video... for the world to see.
I just turned away from his channel. Who needs that garbage.

There are some other very good channels to follow... as people live their adventures... follow their dreams... build their homesteads... cook their fresh food and raise their kids. I went looking for a good one... and it wasn't a day or two later that I saw an old channel that I'd come across a few years back... saved the link in my homesteading folder... but I hadn't had time to ever pursue.

I decided to find out this couple's story.
I did not expect to discover that they were both young and successful university graduates... with careers they had loved. She had worked with a fashion designer... and he had a steady 16-year office job... before they made the change of lifestyles... and moved from the big city to a small country acreage.

There was a mention of cancer. He had gone through cancer. I was actually just curious about their house... looking for pictures of their house... the newer house on their larger homestead that they had just bought... and that they were now remodeling... when I saw the playlist... that told the story of his health journey.

Two videos!! Two hours!! I thought I'd listen just enough to get the jist of it... and go back to the house search. But, the story drew me in. They had been newly married at the time. Lorraine just kept saying... "it was such a dark time for us." And it was interesting to hear how they came through it... and I wanted to know if now... he was cured. He was.

I could have clicked out of the second video... at the end of it... but Lorraine was such a refined woman... and a genuinely beautiful soul... that I honored her desire to read a blog she wrote in 2016... on the trip from Los Angeles to North Carolina. She surely is a talented writer... and the vlog post... is very much worth the listening.




This transcript begins at 39:19 in the 2nd video:

Jason: "But I still do have some issues, and we just deal with it. And I think of our diet of just cutting out certain foods in our diet, and maybe even possibly living in the more cleaner environment which is kinda out of smog and out of the traffic that we were living in, I think that helped. You know... being... digging our hands in the soil... and trying to be stress-free. I'm not so sure, you know, sometimes homesteading life can be stressful, but trying to still be stress-free, and live more naturally... has helped also."

Lorraine: "Yeah, it's a journey. I mean we're still ON this journey. I haven't... I don't think this podcast is about we've arrived! We live so healthy! It's a journey every single day... with every morning you wake up and you have choices in front of you. And you can either choose healthy choices, or you can either choose NOT so healthy choices for yourself.

And... you know, it's a journey. Every day we wake up and we're making... we're trying to make the best choices for your health and for our family... and you know, we're still on this journey together."

Jason: "Yeah, and at a certain point, you know, I think at first for us, too, it was like... you know, eat healthy for during the week and then on the weekend you're like... well, I ate good for five days, I can have a cheat day on the Saturday or Sunday, you know... and it'll be okay. But then, for us, it became like... no, there's no cheat days... like... this is just a way of living, now... and it became an all in way of life... of just 100 percent... like... we need to eat better. We need to just be as healthy as we possibly can... because... that's just our life! Like... I want to live a happy life! And that's it!"

Lorraine: "I wrote this blog post back in March of 2016, and I believe that was... I wrote this when we were driving over here. So we moved over here in April... it was April 2016. So, I wrote this when we were... pretty much on our way over here. So I just want to read it to you as a final conclusion for this podcast series about Jason's health. And it's basically the story condensed... in a nutshell. But I just want to read it and share with you guys what was on my heart.

I'd actually titled this blog post "The Farmer and His Seeds."

"After I graduated college, I got married and began my career in the fashion industry working for a high-end Los Angeles-based fashion designer. My lifestyle was... at that point... all about consuming. Work was competitive and stressful. Days were long, and I remember feeling empty... constantly hungry and eager... eager for something that I didn't possess.

Outside of work, I collected vintage furniture... vintage and designer clothing... and stuff that fulfilled hobbies. I would attempt to ditch the stress by attending hot yoga classes... but that just added one more task to my long schedule... and brought me home later... and less time with my husband. I grew bitter about not having enough time.

The days of going to church with my family seemed like an impossible tradition to carry on... and too late to start with my husband... because we were already set in our ways, and well... our schedules were already full. I believed in God... wasn't that enough?

In 2009, when Jason was diagnosed with a lymphoma cancer, we prayed together for the first time... but when Jason became in remission we returned back to our busy lives, as normal. Then, in 2014, Jason came down with another serious illness... an unexplained full-body rash and night sweats. Those are the same symptoms as lymphoma.

Maybe because it seemed like yesterday... but I'm always thinking about... what we just went through... and how he was so sick... and how I just kept begging God to heal him. And he didn't. For seven long months... he didn't. I prayed for healing every day. It just seemed that Jason was getting worse. I started praying so much that every breath was a prayer. Every footstep was a prayer.

At first, I was angry with God. How could a God of love allow this to happen to Jason. How could He ignore my cries out to him.

So, one day... I just started praying differently... about my trust and my strength to get through this. It was such a difficult and dark time. There were nights when I had to help him with his clothes... but they didn't want to come off. So I had to peel the dried blood-stained clothes off of his raw, rashy skin.

There were days when I hoped our daughter didn't hear his screams of anguish. It was such a difficult and dark time... when I had to hush a toddler's happy squeals into a whisper... because Daddy's sleeping and keep her entertained when my brain... when all my brain wanted to do... was fix Daddy... even though there was nothing seven different medical professionals could do... nothing.

It was such a difficult and dark time. Sometimes I heard him cry at night when he thought that I had already fallen asleep. I couldn't imagine the pain that he was going through. I just wanted to lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat... but I couldn't. I couldn't even touch him.

Then, I would lay in bed at night and cry, too, but not because I was tired... not because I was scared... even though I was all those things. I cried for him. I missed his funny ways. I missed him... and the times we had together... NOT the stuff I was surrounded with. I wondered if this life would always be like this for us... if this was the new normal. I prayed and asked God... if he wasn't answering my prayers of healing... because he was going to take him from me. I begged Him not to.

It was such a difficult and dark time. Lots of tears and crying from both of us... but I couldn't even hug him when he cried because his purple skin was peeling and bleeding all over. So sometimes I just hugged his head and I prayed out loud over him for healing and for strength... and to get through this.

It was such a difficult and dark time. I felt alone... as a wife... and as a mother. There were family members offering to help, but I still felt like a single mom taking care of two infants in need. I couldn't see past the illness. It was bigger and darker than my eyes could see. How long had he been sick? days? months? It felt like years.

What I couldn't see... was that we were changing. We were breaking. Our soils were being prepared... like the way a farmer first breaks the ground... rips out the weeds... clears out a path... and turns the hard ground into soft soil. Because, you see... the old dirt wouldn't have been ready to receive what was to be planted.

It was during these difficult and dark times... was when I learned I was weak in my faith. I had doubted God and His plans for us.

It was during these difficult and dark times... was when... I felt the comfort and closeness of God in my heart, because I allowed God to meet me in my darkness... because I was reading scripture... praying throughout the day... and earnestly seeking Him.

It was during such difficult and dark times... was when I learned HOW to pray. I stopped praying for what I wanted... which was immediate healing. I started praying that God would give us strength to endure this painful and dark season. I started praying for the grace to benefit from it and the willingness to let God use it however He sees fit... in order to bring glory to His perfect kingdom... and the courage to tell others how God worked in our lives.

Jason still isn't completely healed, but he is alive... and we are changed because of our journey. I left my career in the fashion industry shortly after Jason went through cancer... chemo... then remission. Little did I know, that just within a short time, this prideful girl would willingly strip down to nothing and surrender my belongings... my career... my car... my big beautiful home... my designer clothes... my time... and my heart... to have a REAL relationship with Christ.

Since this illness, Jason and I have sold most of our belongings and are in the middle of moving across the country to find land and build a homestead and live with less... and live simply. This isn't a story of how we became farmers, but how God has worked in our lives... how our faith has been made stronger... our hearts have been prepared... seeds planted... and now, as a married couple, it is up to us to keep our roots in Jesus... and bear fruit for others to see God in our lives.

It's up to us... to use our story... of how we grew our faith...
to share with others.






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