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I think that I've made friends with a certain gold tabby cat.
I will designate it... the cat...
with the pronoun... "it."
(I don't know its sex... and I don't care. Why even ask....
I mean... it's like asking what sex acts they might perform...!)
Then again... it... acts more like a strong male... cat.
I noticed "it" one day strolling ever so politely
along the brick base of the side fence... in the yard.
"It"... well, now... ya know...
an "it" can be a thing...
and this "it" was not just a thing...
"it" was a domestic animal... a pet...
(... don't even mention the term pet...
or I'll go into a diatribe about expressions I've noticed
on so-called "pets" faces... while being petted...
very revealing... very revealing...)
Anyway...
to call it an "it"... wasn't really... true.
Its are inanimate objects... or can be...
So... in lieu of having available a unisex pronoun...
to refer to a cat who... who... of whom...
I did not know the more precise... "pronoun"... for...
and I also do not know the cat's name...
so... the way I'm gonna go on this...
I'd just better call "it"... a "he."
It just seems better that way.
So... to continue my story...
As I came into the yard... "he" shied away.
I quietly called out... "There's that cat...!"
He paused... turned his head to look at me...
then turned back and continued on his way.
I called out to him... "Don't you poop in my yard...
"don't you poop in my yard... better not poop here..."
The gold cat kept politely manuevering himself
toward the back fence.
Was it that night...?
or a night not long after meeting him...
that I was in my bedroom... TV on...
and... I smelled a whiff of... cat poop...
right under my window.
I knew it was close by... oh, my my my...
that... wouldn't be that... gold cat...!
Was it the next day...?
or some day soon after the "poop event"...
that I happened to be in the back yard...
and this gold cat... quickly goes to the fence wall...
and politely strolls towards the back fence...
in a very dignified way, of course.
On occasion... I would happen upon the gold cat...
as he stared intently down a mole hole... here, then there...
I wonder now... was he just showing off...?
or was he just... hungry...
I called quietly to him... not a whisper, mind you...
just... not an overwhelming command to him...
I called out, "There's that cat... that cat is getting those mice...
That's a good cat...! I like that cat...!"
And one time...
the gold cat stood watch under my hanging bird feeder...
farther away from it than he could jump quickly at a bird...
if a bird landed on the feeder to eat.
When I saw the cat sitting there... watching the feeder...
I immediately stopped... and looked at that cat...
without moving a muscle...
and I said to that cat...
"I like the little birds..! That cat better be good...
or I will get my tool...!!!"
and I reached for the two-pronged spade hoe tool.
"I will get my tool and come get that cat.
I like my little birdies...!"
When I saw him again... some time later...
sitting there... staring at the bird feeder...
I got my two-pronged hoe and said to that cat...
"I like my little birdies.
That cat better leave my birdies alone...!"
Well, I have noticed fewer birds this year.
Maybe it is the brand of bird seed.
Maybe it's that cat.
Just lately... I came into the yard...
and the gold cat ran right in front of me...!
I halted... and my eyes followed the cat...
and there... under the bird feeder...
eating some popcorn that I had tossed there...
was... a small possum.
The gold cat walked very sternly past the possum...
who was looking up to me with the most pitiful eyes...
and then the cat sat down on the far side of the possum.
The cat looked at me as if saying...
"Look what's eating your popcorn..."
and honestly... I got a clear picture of a sheriff
who has just rounded up a couple of bandits...
... it was just that look in the gold cat's eye...
I looked at the pitiful-looking possum...
and I looked back at the gold cat...
and I said to him,
"Possum can eat the popcorn."
And... having passed judgment on the possum...
I continued along on my way.
It was settled.
After going past them...
and as I walked away from them...
I heard no growling from behind me...
nor the sounds of a squeal from a bite...
cat squeal... or possum squeal...
and since I heard no such noises...
I took it that the popcorn issue had been settled amicably...
and the next time that I looked... the popcorn was gone.
Nowadays... when I see that gold cat...
I call out to him... "There's that cat"...
and maybe just once I said,
"That cat is a very good cat...!!"
But... I couldn't say such a thing... every time...
or that gold cat would think he had put one over on me...
and... poop under my window.
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