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Still catching up on "Acre Homestead" Channel video history...
(referring to my last essay posting... "A Dream Garden"...)
I'd found that Becky had posted some livestream videos...
and I picked one where she and her husband, Josh, did a Q&A.
A person in "chat" asked Becky... what gardening channels she followed...
or... which channels were most helpful to her.
Becky said that "Esther Emery" was a great inspiration for her.
Well, Becky actually said "Fouchamatic Off Grid"...
which was Greek to me... or audio that needs fixin'...
but... I COULD understand the name Esther Emery.
I found Esther's channel... she has a personal channel...
and she also has a "working" channel for all of her off-grid skills.
The "Fouchamatic" channel has some great off-grid stuff.
But... the personal channel... I donno...
At first... I was just going to pass on watching her personal videos.
I'm not a fan of drama... and she certainly had some of that...
but then... I watched part of one personal video...
and she was quite sincere... and had a sweet insight on life.
She's actually written a book...!
She wasn't just a big fish flopping around in dreamland...
she actually was... a beautiful flopping fish...!
I thought to myself... "personal stuff, uck it"... then...
"well... OK... I'll watch ONE video... just to see"...
and I picked a video about the moon...
called... "Because the Moon Can See the Sun".
Because the Moon Can See the Sun
video
She did quite well.
Here's a partial transcript of that video:
@00:00:54
"Today I'm going to talk about my off-grid life and
some lessons that I have learned from life without electricity.
This is not a choice that I necessarily can justify.
People sometimes say that homesteading is better done with electricity... and it's not necessarily defensible to make the choice to do it without... in terms of pursuing self-sufficiency or efficiency.
"I don't necessarily disagree with that... for us being off-grid has been a matter of doing the right thing in a series of moments... and had to do with finances... and had to do with freedom. It had to do with... doing the best we could in the place that we found ourselves...
so... I'm not going to sit here and describe how YOU should be "off-grid" or without electricity necessarily because I'm not sure that I believe that about YOUR life... but I figure the least I can do is... having had these experiences myself... try to share some of the somewhat unusual lessons that they have taught me.
We also need to take care of some housekeeping, rather quickly. I want people to know where to find the various kinds of content that I create. I have a wide range as a teacher... and um... a person who shares the stories... so I want to be clear on what's going to be where and when so that people can find what YOU are most interested in."
(Esther talks about her book coming out and her plans for herself and her channel.)
@00:05:20
Esther:
"This particular story takes place as many of my stories do... during my first winter in the woods. As I was acclimating to so many differences and among them... the lack of electric lighting. At my latitude... in the dead of winter... darkness would fall as early as 4:30... at least 5:30 before I intended to have dinner on the table... and well before I intended to have kids in bed.
"On this particular night, though, that was not as much a concern because shortly after sunset the moon had risen... and it was a bright... almost full moon... on a snowy landscape. At the kids' bedtime, I took Stella down to the outhouse... and she said to me, "Mommy? is the moon on fire like the sun?"
"She was, at this point, five or six years old. I guess we had talked about... that day... the sun... and that the sun was a fiery ball of GAS. And she wondered if the moon was also on fire.
I said, "No, it's just reflecting the light of the sun."
She said, "No, Mommy, the sun is gone!... it can't be reflecting the light of the sun."
I said, "Oh, honey, no... the sun isn't GONE... we just can't see it."
Bless her... she took my word for it... and she and I both looked up at that bright moon... standing in our boots on white snow... in a lifestyle that seemed alone and somewhat infertile... and somewhat dead. And we both felt that it was a TRUE thing... a deep TRUE thing... that the moon can see the sun.
"I'm a big believer in seasons. I am definitely one of these people who has received that experience of "resurrection"... of coming out of a very dark place and finding that I am OK again... that sort of miraculous feeling of rising out of a very hard place... or a painful place... or a broken place. But... as someone who has had that experience, I also have the knowledge that... you can't hold on to that... you can't hold it like a possession... because you're just as likely to have another fallow period... another desert period... another winter.
"If there's anything that living without electricity has taught me... is that... celestial bodies move in patterns. Is this news?... of course not. Of course we all KNOW that. But, what does it mean to think that your life is patterned? What satisfaction... what... what... reassurance there is... to live a life that is patterned... and to know that when you fall in to the quiet places... that... that's only a season. When you fall into the tired places... that's only a season. And... when you reach certain peaks and accomplishments and feelings of success... that also is only... a season.
"The first of the patterns that I became MORE in
tune with... living a life without electricity... is that of the sun! The sun rises... the sun sets. The next day, the sun rises again... the sun sets. This is a pattern that is so familiar to us... we forget its existence. But we also RESIST it... we REBEL against it... we extend the day in both directions. We... um... force the edges of the day... to fit more in to it... to make it more and more and more of a productive time.
"In this era... we can sit up until 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning on our devices... with... not only LIGHT, but also communication... having day time in the middle of the night. Is that a BAD thing?... I don't know that it's a bad thing... but I do think that there is a lesson to be learned... from the ABSENCE of it... the experience of it.
"There's something about that magic... of being patterned WITH... the bodies in the sky... the sun... and the moon. There's a magic with being patterned with them that's healing... and restoring... that brings a person back to centre.
"Sometimes... I... I... watch the public world around me and I think... to be grounded... or centered... are verbs that we hardly even know the meaning of, anymore. Things seem so crazy... and wonky... and people are unsettled and people are anxious... and people are afraid... and I wonder how much of those feelings... anxiety... and fear...... is related to actual EVENTS...
and... how much is related to... not being calibrated to the clockmaker... the patterns of the clockmaker... the patterns of creation... the patterns of the world... the patterns of... our environment.
"It's a funny thing about healing... that it doesn't always feel like healing...
a funny thing about re-centering and coming to a health... or a groundedness...
that it can also actually feel like "losing everything."
it can feel like a deep chaos...
and a... a tearing away... to return to a simplicity that connects you to these patterns of day and night... and dawn and dusk...
can feel like having everything ripped away from you...
... it isn't until you've come around a little bit...
... looked back at something over your shoulder...
that you realize... when everything was being ripped away from you... you were being given your own feet back...
and when things fell out of your hands... you received your hands back...
and that, in fact... sometimes a loss restores the most important things... your identity... your capacity... your ability to be yourself and to survive.
"Our life now is so different from how it was that first year... in the woods. We still are off the grid... in the sense of off the power grid... but I'm pretty connected these days.
And on top of that we have neighbors.
I'm hoping to be able to introduce you to them soon.
There are children... the same age as my children... next door...
that my own children can run over and play with... or have over...
for a snack... every day.
What a difference from three years ago... when we felt alone in these woods.
I appreciate both of these experiences.
I appreciate these seasons.
I appreciate the reminder... that... nothing is FOREVER...
that darkness is not forever...
and LIGHT is not forever...
that there is a pattern of darkness and light...
which is not quite the same thing as a balance because it
isn't still... but it's a TRUE balance which is formed by contrasting things in motion.
"A lot of people around me right now are hurting.
There's so much pain in peoples' individual lives...
there is so much struggle... in the moments of our days... even in moments of great success and happiness... there is always a struggle...
there are always people who are experiencing loss... or illness... or separation...
there are people who are experiencing financial difficulties... and feelings of insecurity... and feelings of fear... and anger...
"... if I could take this feeling of being patterned to the seasons... and to the sky... and bottle it... and hand it out to people in little bottles... you know I would. It's an antidote to anxiety.
It's an antidote to panic.
It's a way of resolving our fears... that the world is really never going to be alright again.
"Now... it IS possibly TRUE that certain things will come to an end...
certain earthly things will come to an end...
It is, of course, possible... that there will be a catastrophe... that there will be disaster.
There are lots of reason to think that our unsustainable systems may... have... be... problematic.
there are lots of reasons to think about the possibility of disaster...
but there's a humility and a security to be found in looking at our true things... our true things, which are the sky... and the sun... and the moon
...
and the re-generation of life through the soil.
"There's a capacity for health to be found in that... in that deep level of faith... that says,
"you're... the way that your mind carries you from one concern to another?... it's not not real...
but it isn't the ONLY thing that's real...
there are also balancing forces of tremendous magnitude that you can lean up against...
that can give you feet to stand on...
that can give you inner strength.
"That night... after Stella and I had had the conversation about how the moon can see the sun...
I was lying in the dark and by myself... because my husband was out of town... and I felt that kind of anxiety... "the nerves"... the feelings that there might be a wild animal around the corner...
that I might have made all the wrong choices with my life...
that I might be doing something crazy...
that I might never be able to recover...
I felt all of those fears and all that anxiety...
and I imagined... you could say I had a vision...
I had a vision of the LIGHT passing from the sun to the moon...
and how the sun is moving...
and how the moon is moving...
and how that LIGHT bouncing back and forth
makes a blanket around the earth...
a blanket of LIGHT... a web of LIGHT...
and I felt so reassured by that feeling of LIGHT passing all around me... even when all I can see is darkness.
"It seems to me a dark moment in my particular place and time... sitting here in these woods in the first week of November... there IS some darkness in the world... and I don't want to hide from it... but I do want to offer the hope that the LIGHT is still there... and even if we can't see it... someone can."
Thanks for hanging out with me... this week.
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