Essays Contents
Sexy Cooking
November 9, 2023
WARNING:
You are about to experience one of my rants.
If you are bothered in any way by this...
you have the absolute choice to leave now...
as I frown heavily on any use of force...
and would never force someone to continue reading
when they are about to UNDERGO A CHANGE.
There I was... minding my own business... looking for a recipe...
and I play some video about some miracle creamed corn recipe
that is going viral throughout the world...
maybe it's made its way to Mars by now...
and the delicate movements of the chef...
the way he emptied that can of corn... so artistically...
the gentle way he stirred... the pot... and the butter...
it began to give "cooking with love" a new meaning.
For instance:
Everyone's Buying CANNED CORN After Seeing This Genius Idea! You'll Copy His Brilliant Hack!!!
"Webspoon World" YT channel
NOTICE: I changed the video link to the corn video.
My first impression of this canned corn video was a bit premature.
The chef was just being stylish... nothing intimidating, after all.
It's an interesting channel.
Please pardon the blooper.
A brilliant snack idea that you absolutely have to make today! A delicious and quick recipe!
"Recipe hub" YT channel
There are several channels on YouTube that I know of...
and perhaps more than I have ever realized...
that have turned cooking into some kind of sexy dance...
a dance with the delicate finger work...
just unwrapping the skins of an onion...
a dance... cutting those onions... so meaningfully...
a dance... placing the meatballs... onto the hot skillet...
save me...!! somebody SAVE ME...!!!
I just want the damned recipe
not a lesson in the sensuality of the chef...!
From now on... I'm going to stick with the few cooks I know
who... hell... just toss those veggies in with the noodles...
season lackidazily... sometimes with way too much of something...
but at least I'm not finding myself lost in a video
that is more like walking into a strip club
thinking it was a pizza "take out" joint.
Ya know... some things are just better
when they are in the environment appropriate to them.
(don't get me started on Kathy Rigby and Maxipads)
That doesn't mean that I believe that life can't be sexy...
It's just that... it's meant for a more private and serious setting.
It's just that... flashing it around on everything... cheapens its beauty.
I like feeling sexy, too... just like most adults.
I have forgotten the belt on my robe after a shower...
(too innocent and accidental for ya... fellas...?)
I may even need help washing my back in the shower...
and sometimes I love getting really comfy
and I'd wear a large shirt around the house...
with no undies on...
Hey... to each his own... that's what I always say.
Gratuitous nakedness and sexiness...? yik yuk and yank...
I find outright shows of sex... distasteful... even sickening.
(ever noticed the shape of an ear of corn...? hmmm...?)
I'ts L O N G... very LONG...
I wouldn't make like a street whore looking for a random "john"...
but... if my husband watches closely... he'll get a show.
I won't have to whistle from the bedroom.
If you are bothered in any way by this...
you have the absolute choice to leave now...
as I frown heavily on any use of force...
and would never force someone to continue reading
when they are about to UNDERGO A CHANGE.
Everyone's Buying CANNED CORN After Seeing This Genius Idea! You'll Copy His Brilliant Hack!!!
"Webspoon World" YT channel
NOTICE: I changed the video link to the corn video.
My first impression of this canned corn video was a bit premature.
The chef was just being stylish... nothing intimidating, after all.
It's an interesting channel.
Please pardon the blooper.
A brilliant snack idea that you absolutely have to make today! A delicious and quick recipe!
"Recipe hub" YT channel